I don't think so.
I think for as long as I remember, I always wanted to be the best, be at the top. I was the big fish in the small pond for a while, but then the pond got bigger and I wasn't the big fish anymore. It was something that was quite hard to deal with, but I am quite happy and content now. Beating myself is what matters.
Honestly, almost everyone at med school is extremely smart and hard working. There will always be someone who is captain of the hockey team and president of medical society AND comes top of the year... It is scary. It is sometimes very daunting to think you have to compete with these people. It is tough. Especially for someone like me, who wants to do well.
This feeling is becoming more prominent as exam season is upon us. It just feels like a never ending black hole of drug names and diseases and medical procedures...
It is just so competitive. I wanted to become a neurosurgeon since I knew I wanted to study medicine. It was my dream. I had dedicated a lot of my time to 'boost my CV' around that area and finding out what it really entailed. I know the training programme and what you have to do to get on it. The working hours.. the loooonnngggg and endless working hours. I was prepared for all that. But people change. What I really want now is to have a fulfilling family life, be a good mother, and being a doctor comes second.
